The Lazy Ramblings Of A Lazy Guy (On Vanity & Vanities)

The Man Down My Local (5).png

I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Vanity and Vanities

I had my hair cut today, its one of those things that I put off and put off, it isn’t due to some fear of the barber, or even down to some lack of small talk, its just I really don’t like spending so much time looking at my own reflection. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with my looks, I’ve certainly grown into them from my days as an awkward teen, I defiantly have aged well. But what having my haircut always reveals is that my hair is thinning and that worries me a little, every time I have my haircut I look at it, and its a little thinner and that worries me, because its part of my appearance that I cant control.

Most people that know me know that I am a bit of a dandy, I like nice clothes and even when my hair and beard are a tad on the long side they are well dressed, I’m one of the few people I’ve ever me who knows how to correctly tie a cravat or a bow tie, I own not one but three dinner jackets and my outfit for tomorrow includes a tie pin and a tailcoat. But I have no idea why I do it, in this day and age of onesies and tracksuits why do I bother? Whats the point? Why don’t I just wear jeans and a t-shirt? I think the mean reason is that I don’t want to look like the unwashed masses, I hate the informality of it all. In years gone by men and women used to dress for dinner, the very idea of having a meal in ones pyjama’s was surely something only married women of the aristocratic variety could enjoy.

The older I get the more I seem to care about my outward appearance and I do feel that all my onus on clothing and how my beard and hair are styled is because I’m getting older, my hair is thinning and I seem to be steadily putting on weight, no matter what I seem to do about it. Its got me thinking, that you do still see many dapper older gents around, but seldom see any middle age men who care too much about their appearances (excepting in the case of those undergoing the famed mid-life crisis). Its almost as if they don’t feel the need to impress people, younger people are trying to attract other people and keep them interested and the so called dapper grandfathers, who I mentioned earlier, are often widowers trying to do the same.

What I’m trying to say is that I currently like making an effort with my appearance, and hope that I keep this up the older I get, because I have never been one to dress to impress other people, I’ve always dressed myself for myself, does that make me a little vain?

This is the fifth in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.

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