The Lazy Ramblings of a Lazy Man (On Eating and Drinking)

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I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care).

On Eating And Drinking 

Over the last few days (it being the festive period) I have probably eaten my body weight in carbohydrates and saturated fats, I love to eat, especially at Christmas. The meats, the vegetables, the desserts, the wines and cheeses, the buffet spreads, all of it. I’m not really a fan of Christmas, but the food and the drink are what make it all worth while. Over the past two days I’ve indulged all my gluttonous appetites to the point where I can visibly see my gout throbbing and I have heart burn with an acid content so high it could eat through titanium.

But it isn’t just at Christmas, I am a bit of a foody the whole year round. I like to try new things, to this date the most exotic food I’ve ever tried is pickled baby octopus. Lately though this has fallen by the wayside, I’m travelling less and having a small child doesn’t really lend itself to dining out. However in my younger days I could recite the menus and wine lists from most restaurants in  south east Wales, and it was all borne from a love of food and drink.

Not only do I like to eat, but I also like to cook, I spent the most part of Christmas day in the kitchen, not only did I cook the whole damn meal, I also ended up doing the washing up as well. I like to cook, lots of little fiddly things that look impressive, as well other meals which adhere to the 4 main food groups, salt, fat, grease and burnt crunchy bits.  However I’ve never been one of those people who have to take a photo of their food and share it with the world, if I cook a nice meal I’ll enjoy it while its still hot, not arse around with instagram filters while the degrees slip away and all your left with is a bowl of cold mush, in the hopes of getting 6 likes on social media.

Then we come to the worst possible human beings around. Those people who pour salt or ketchup on everything, without even tasting it first. I am one of those people who rarely puts salt on food, and I do think it is incredibly rude when someone cooks you a meal, and then you don’t even try it, you just pour salt on, not only is that rude, but down right insulting. Sure saltiness is a personal thing and I don’t mind to much when someone covers their meal in the stuff, but only when you have had the good manners to try it first, and the same goes with ketchup.

 

This is the eleventh in a series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.

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