Crimes Against Fashion That Should Be Tried At The Hague

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Knitted Ties

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Ties are meant to be for business or for formal occasions, knitted says neither, it says my Nana made it for me. I mean a knitted jumper is ok, they’re at least functional, but the kitted tie is just ugly.

Baseball Caps

Baseball Cap

They just look stupid, I don’t know what it is about them that I don’t like so much, maybe its that most are festooned with some sort of advertising that you’ve been duped into paying to display, which is still advertising, even if they do call it merchandise.

V Neck T-Shirts

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Nothing screams douche bag louder that a V neck tee. Why they’ve become so popular I don’t know, is it to show off that you get your chest waxed? Or is it to show that you go to the gym? Maybe its just because I’m stuck with the rugged (hairy) dad bod (surely that should be father figure?) that I don’t like them, but honestly I just want to hit people when they rock up somewhere in a low cut t-shirt and skinny jeans I mean seriously make some effort.

Male Uggs

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They’re women’s shoes designed for little effort, need I say more.

Wicker Shoes 

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These things are just hideous, and so impractical, they would last 1 minuet against the British elements, but at one point these were the height of fashion. Its like the mullet of menswear, you have to wonder why it was ever a thing. If anyone still owns a pair of these please dispose of them responsibly (don’t donate them to refugees, they have enough problems).

Crocs

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Chefs and doctors alike wear these because they don’t slip and apparently are comfortable as hell, but even so, No. Just No.

All of these are just a no. So don’t do it. Any of them.

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