Terrible Dad Jokes

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Since becoming a father I’ve found myself abandoning my usual prosaic wit and sardonic put downs for dad jokes, so here are some really terrible ones.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?…. A pilot you racist (s)

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender looks up and says why the long face?

An Englishman an Irishman, a Welshman, a vicar, a Rabbi, a Mufti and a Priest walk into a pub, the landlord looks up and says is this some kind of a joke?

Three men walk into a bar, you’d think one of them would have seen it.

How do you make a tissue dance?…. You put a little boogie into it.

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? ….1forrest1

Why did the farmer give the Shetland Pony a glass of water?…He was a little horse.

Want to hear a joke about construction?… I’m still working on it.

A furniture store keeps calling me…. All I wanted was one night stand.

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