Stag Do’s For Pretentious Shit’s

For those of you that didn’t know, I’m getting married, and whilst a date has yet to be set we are aiming for February of Next Year (2018) and in somewhat of a Don’t Tell The Bride style of thing, the planning of the event has been left to yours truly (The only bits I’m not touching are the Dress, Hair and Make Up). Maybe this has been left to me because my darling betrothed is overcome with her duties as mayor, or it could be because of my experience of event management, but either way its mine. And for all the hard work that I have in front of me the main reward (aside from wedded bliss) is that I get to finally have a Stag do, or Bachelor Party as the yanks call it.

Of course that being said living opposite a Wetherspoon’s I have been party to some fairly dismal looking stag do’s, but at the same time I wouldn’t really don’t want to hit up the cliche of just getting pissed up in matching t-shirts that are adorned with some crude nickname that the recipient didn’t know that they had. And I certainly don’t want to do that abroad in some STD riddled tourist trap like Benidorm, Malia, Kavos or Ibiza. As most people who have ever met me know, I am a fairly pretentious person by modern standards. I like Jazz and Opera, I can tell where a wine is from just by looking at the glass, I only smoke cigars and the occasional pipe and I own not one but two smoking jackets and also two tailcoats. So you see the sort of problems that would be faced by anyone trying to organise a stag do for someone like myself. And even if I were to organise my own stag do before researching this list I was still at a loss of what to do. This was also made even more difficult by the fact that I am in no way inclined toward physical activity, hopefully the following provides some inspiration.

  1. Opera- Its a little different for a stag do, and can certainly be accompanied by drinks both before and after but opera is one of those things that regularly occurs, and is not always that expensive, The Welsh National Opera regularly hosts shows in Cardiff bay, a stones throw from some of the best cocktail bars in Wales and a very short taxi ride from Cardiff town centre.
  2. Food/ Wine/ Ale Festivals- Who doesn’t like a festival atmosphere and if you combine it with the wonders that are food, cheese, wine or beer, a good time will most likely be had by all.
  3. Jazz Festival- Keeping with the festival theme, but also being a lot more low key than things like Glastonbury and Download, and chances are that if its only a one day festival, you can avoid the hell that is camping with a large group of your fellow men, or camping in general really.
  4. Stand Up- whats not to like about watching people try to make you laugh and having a beer or ten while they do it?
  5. Horse Racing – What could be more manly than the sport of kings? Taking a day out to Chepstow or Epsom with a few cigars and couple of trips to the bar while you’re there? Nothing.
  6. Spa Day- Now hear me out. You’re going to need to get a decent hair cut anyway, so why not combine that with a wet shave from a cut throat razor and a massage as well ?
  7. Museum/ Art Gallery- Why not take a day to expand your cultural horizons, and visit some of the great museums and art galleries that our country has to offer, I would recommend the Tate, The Imperial War Museum and St Fagans National Museum of History (Cardiff)
  8. Burlesque Show- What says stag do or bachelor party more than the idea of seeing a bunch of oversexed morons perving over a stripper or crowded into a titty bar? It’s almost impossible to add a bit of class to this particular cliche, but a decent burlesque show does manage to pull of that fine line between tawdry and tasteful.
  9. Cigar Tastings- Since the beginning of the smoking ban in enclosed public spaces in the UK cigar tastings have died out, but hings such as cigar cruises have popped up to fill that need, so may prove a good part of the traditional stag smoker.

I hope that this little list helps for anyone who is planning a stag do or bachelor party for a pretentious shit.

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