I have to be honest over the last few weeks I’ve been feeling a little bit flat and the thought of running off to some tropical island paradise and opening a rum shack on some beach sounds awesome. So here is a look at some back up options for my life at the moment.
Bartender In The Caribbean
This would be the ideal goal, just pack up and head to somewhere coastal on the equator, and build a little wooden shack on the beach with cold beer, endless rum and a fantastic wine list, and best of all whatever I want to put on the Jukebox.
I’d probably have better luck being paid not to turn up on dates with women, but as long as my wife got her cut I’m sure she wouldn’t mind excessively.
Curator at an Art Gallery
I don’t really know a lot about art other than what I like to look at, but I can adopt the sort of snooty demeanour that goes with the territory, I don’t see why I couldn’t pressure people to buy third rate reproductionist crap just by giving them a withering glance.
In spite of the stress that goes with them, I actually enjoy throwing parties, attending them less so, but the actual planning and throwing of them is something that I enjoy in a somewhat masochistic sort of way.
I could probably work in a wine and speciality spirits shop. I know a lot about booze, and and can really put on a sort of snooty I’m better than you will ever be kind of attitude.
I cant draw, and I really can’t sew (it took me about 2 hours to sew six buttons on various waistcoats and jackets the other day), but I wouldn’t let that stop me from designing men’s clothes and accessories, (see the cufflinks I designed here, and the council tie I designed here).
If you’ve read this blog more than once you would probably think that this is the best career choice I could possibly have to fall back on. Most of my best stories and blog posts come from drinking. Whether that’s from a great story to tell, a startling hungover realisation, or some witty bon mot filled piece about some spectacularly sumptuous tipple that I’ve dared to drain in the past day or so. I’d probably strive more towards Hemingway than Bukowski but I’d need to get a few more things published, if only as I would need an income to fund the drinking.
I’ll probably never give up on local government and politics but its nice to know that there are a few professions that I could fall back on if I’m hit with an early scandal.