The Lazy Ramblings Of A Lazy Guy (On Being In Love)

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I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  10. ON BABIES.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being In Love 

Have you ever seen someone and known that they would be a terrible distraction to your life. That was how I would describe it, that feeling of knowing that this person is going to really change your life. That knowledge that this is going to be massively inconvenient.

That’s how it all begins then you slip into it, the early days are all wine and dinner and flowers and dancing, but then comes the big pants and netflix, the cups of tea, the farting and the lack of make up, if you can get through that, that is true love. The enduring real world version of the thing.

Foreigner wanted to know what love is, well its two people who have decided to just give up and settle with each other because they find the other person somewhat less detestable than the rest of humanity, that my friends is love.

This is the second in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.


Sat About Saturday

Today has been a bit of a write off in terms of actual accomplishment, I’ve managed to do a little bit of tidying (although tidying the house with a toddler is like shovelling snow while its still snowing) and I also managed to do the dishes and cook an alrightish chicken curry. The rest of the day has been given over to reading comic books and catching up on the latest episodes of Arrow and DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. All this whilst managing to avoid doing my washing and even better managing to not do my ironing for a third consecutive week (that stuff just piles up).

One of the high points of my weekend is that I finally started to read volume one of Judge Dredd The Complete Case Files. I discovered possibly the best villain ever (Call Me Kenneth) and have been enjoying the varied art work, (a review to follow after I’ve finished the thing).

However the down side of the weekend is that I taught my darling daughter, Marianna, a new word, “peacock”, it doesn’t really sound like peacock though and in fact sounds more like she’s saying “big cock”. Luckily she hasn’t said it in public yet, but it does highlight how her vocabulary is coming along nicely especially as she isn’t even two yet. She already knows where she lives (Cwmbran) and knows that her mothers job is mayor (she hasn’t quite mastered the word deputy) and perhaps most importantly, she can say comic book. Now if only I could get her not to shout “Daddy get up” at 8 am on a Saturday.

Comic Book Movies and Why They Suck.

I’m a massive comic fan. my collection currently boasts over 1000 issues and 300+ collected editions, with plans for expansion always being kept in mind. I love superheroes, those roided men and miss-proportioned women all decked out in spandex beating the crap out of each other and saving the universe every issue.

However that being said I have to say that I have been thoroughly disappointed in the cinematic efforts of the two main comic firms (DC and Marvel respectively). Now I have a deep respect for superhero films of yesteryear Michael Keaton as Batman and Christopher Reeve as Superman were fantastic, but when Marvel made its first moves to the big screen that’s where things began to take a turn for the worse in 2000 when I was 11 I remember going to the cinema to watch X-Men (the first in a currently 9 part saga) at the time I was blown away by the special effects and the fight scenes, but not really by the story, luckily my next interaction with the X-Men came from rewatching the 1992 TV series and watching X-Men Evolution (and they now count among my favourite comics book characters). But this just began a series of underwhelming attempts to fit the pantheon of Marvel heroes onto the big screen, there was Spider-man 1,2 and (with Tobey Mcquire)  then there was that god awful Hulk film, then the less said about Daredevil, Elektra, The Punisher, the two Fantastic Four films and worst of all not one but two Ghost Rider films.

Then Marvel brought out the big guns, a multi film, shared universe leading up to the Avengers, Marvels flagship superteam. my main problem with these films were again lacking in the deep story that I love about comics, and I understand that you cant fit 50+ (and in some cases 70+) years of complex backstory into 2 hours, but to rewrite it completely is unforgivable and that’s the issue I have Captain America was discovered by the Avengers (which included Ant-man and the Wasp), Thor was a god, not an alien and Hawkeye shouldn’t have been in the Avengers until the Sequel.

But it isn’t just Marvel studios that has fallen into this trap the recent attempt by DC and Warner Brothers has been a massive failure in Man of Steel, Superman does not kill. Jor-el is not a super spy and does not interact with his son on earth on account of being dead. The most recent outing in the new DC cinematic universe was also something that annoyed the bejesus out of me. Suicide Squad, in particular Harley Quinn, who was portrayed as bimboish sexpot with some form of schizophrenia, when originally she was qualified physician, and trainee psychiatrist whose psychological maladies included transference and a dependent personality disorder.

I know I’m being petty and unfair, and know that these are homages rather than adaptations, but I do feel that due to the prolonged longevity of these characters film is not the best medium to portray them, and highlight that comic based television shows such as Arrow, The Flash and Netflix’s Daredevil and Jessica Jones manage to flesh out the depth of the characters involved in a way that a film cant. The typical superhero film goes: person gets powers, freaks out, then accepts it, second person gets powers, first person and second person fight for first time villain wins, introspective scene, then second fight, hero wins, end credits (post credit scene for Marvel). Whereas with television, even with a villain of the week style format, the necessary time can be allotted to  allow for necessary character development and to establish that rich backstory that has made superhero comics a great medium.