Toddlers Fashion (Dads Can Do It Too) 2

As I’m the one who is the primary caregiver in our house, I’m the one tasked with coming up with outfits that are both adorable, fashion forward and functional, that also hold up to the hell and muck making that a two and half year old will put them through.

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This piece is a simple pair of leggings and striped t-shirt topped off with a blue satin scarf.

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This a Japanese school girl type thing that I picked up off ebay paired with a matching pair of tights, adorable right?

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This was Marianna’s outfit for her mothers Mayoral Civic Service, a red party frock, with matching shoes, white socks and red pillbox fascinator.

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Another schoolgirl outfit and tights, an easy combo, but it looks good.

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Marianna in her fascinator with red patent leather shoes, white socks, a floral print dress with a matching belt.

So there you have it. Definitive proof that a heterosexual man can pick perfectly fashion forward outfits for a little girl.

30 Before Thirty (Comics & Graphic Novels)

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I’m going to be thirty in just over 2 years and at this moment in time I’m OK with that (how I feel about it in 10 minuets is up for debate) but one of the things that I realised is that there are a fair few things I still want to accomplish whilst the career and social goals are somewhat out of my control things like films I want to see, albums I want to listen to and books I want to read are very much in my control, especially as I have 25 months to accomplish it. Here is a list of the Comics and Graphic Novels that I would like to have read by the time I’m thirty.

Grant Morrison’s 18 Days

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Camelot 3000

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Miracle Man: A Dream Of Flying

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All Star Superman 

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Preacher: Gone To Texas

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The Crow

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Sandman Preludes and Nocturnes

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Alan Moore’s: Saga of The Swamp Thing

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Marvel 1602

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Saga: Volume 1

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 The Order: Die Mensch Machine

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The Complete Scarlet Traces 

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Button Man

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Ronin 

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Superman: Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow 

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The Infinity Gauntlet 

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Amazing Spider-man: Kravens Last Hunt

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Promethea Book 1 

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Jack Kirby’s Fourth World Omnibus 

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Multiversity 

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Son Of Superman 

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Hellblazer: Original Sins 

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The Authority: Relentless 

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Hellboy: Seed Of Destruction 

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Doctor Who: Emperor Of The Daleks

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Death: The High Cost Of Living  

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JSA The Liberty Files 

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Alice In Sunderland 

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Daredevil Yellow

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The Tragical Comedy or Comical Tragedy of Mr. Punch

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How many of these do you think I’ll get done before July 21st 2019?

30 Before I’m Thirty (Films)

Congratulations Mr Trump (2)

I’m going to be thirty in just over 2 years and at this moment in time I’m OK with that (how I feel about it in 10 minuets is up for debate) but one of the things that I realised is that there are a fair few things I still want to accomplish whilst the career and social goals are somewhat out of my control things like films I want to see, albums I want to listen to and books I want to read are very much in my control, especially as I have 25 months to accomplish it. Here is a list of the films that I would like to have read by the time I’m thirty.

How Green Was My Valley 

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Gentleman’s Agreement

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From Here to Eternity

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Gone With The Wind

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Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

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West Side Story

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Lawrence of Arabia

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Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf

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Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

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Funny Girl

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Fiddler On The Roof

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All The Presidents Men

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Milk

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Kramer Vs Kramer

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Terms of Endearment 

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The Cider House Rules

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An Education

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The Wolf Of Wall Street

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Guardians of the Galaxy 2

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Moonrise Kingdom

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Saving Private Ryan

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Going In Style 

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Wall Street

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King Ralph

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Planes Trains and Automobiles

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O Brother, Where Art Thou?

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The Monuments Men

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Good Will Hunting

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Good Morning Vietnam 

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This Is Spinal Tap

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How many of these do you think I’ll get done before July 21st 2019?

Having A Sick Child And What To Do About It.

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Yesterday my darling offspring Marianna was ill, its really the first time she’s been properly ill in her life (aside from the harrowing circumstanced of her birth), and we’re talking the full works; nose running like an Olympic athlete, coughing like she’d smoked for fifty years and the occasional bit of vomiting thrown into the mix for good measure. She was so ill in fact that I even relented and allowed her to come into bed with me, which is something that I’m usually a bit of a hardarse about (Its not for all the clingyness issues that arise from it, its just I really detest sharing a bed with anyone). I finally got her to sleep in her own bed around 2:30 this morning after dosing her up an calpol, and to be honest it really has helped, because after that I managed to get a pretty decent (albeit short) nights sleep, which was most welcome after the pretty rough meeting I had to sit through.

But today has been a bit of a mixed bag, this morning I couldn’t get Marianna to detach herself from me, so it was all morning spent on the sofa watching the Tigger Movie, while Marianna and tinsel hedgehog lay on top of me, after which she seemed to improve to the point where she was running around with her dolls and generally being a nuisance, because I had to stop her from drawing on the rug more than once.

I’ll be honest, it was a little upsetting, seeing her so ill and beyond keeping her hydrated and trying to bring her temperature down, there was nothing I could do to make her better. I’m sure I’ll be feeling this every cold and flu season for the rest of my life now. It took me right back to when she was born, because she spent almost three weeks in intensive care and all I could do was stare at her through an incubator.

All I can do is thank any deity that’s listening for giving us junior paracetamol.

The Lazy Ramblings Of A Lazy Man (On Babies)

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I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care).

On Babies

I have a child, she’s a baby, she’s cute as hell, but I tell you now, she has definitely put me off having more children, she’s loud and smelly, and given the amount that I find in her nappy, she seems to defy the laws of mass displacement.

Babies are hard work, they require constant attention, they require food, and clothing, before having a child if I wanted to wallow in my own filth without having a proper meal for a week, it wouldn’t matter (except maybe to those who had to smell me) but I can’t do that now, I have to make sure that a whole other person is fed and bathed and presented in a manner that doesn’t bring shame on my whole family.

Then there are other peoples babies, god I hate those little bastards, they’re loud, they smell, and you can’t give them a clip round the head, in fact come to think of it other peoples children are a really good argument for the extinction of the species as a whole. And then there’s the way that you have to coo over newborns whilst saying how much like one of their parents the thing looks like, when in fact they look like a slightly red faced pug, all squashed up from nine months with their face buried in a placenta. And lord help you if you can’t tell the gender, if you refer to a newborn as it, you will undoubtedly feel the wrath of both parents descend upon you like the locusts descended upon the upper kingdom. On top of all this people seem fascinated by new babies, in spite of the fact that they don’t really do anything.

The other thing I’ve noticed since having a child, is that there really are a large number of really ugly babies out there, a huge amount. I’m no oil painting (maybe the kind painted by Edvard Munch or Hieronymus Bosch), but seriously.

This is the tenth in a series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.

The Lazy Ramblings Of A Lazy Guy (On Being In Love)

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I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being In Love 

Have you ever seen someone and known that they would be a terrible distraction to your life. That was how I would describe it, that feeling of knowing that this person is going to really change your life. That knowledge that this is going to be massively inconvenient.

That’s how it all begins then you slip into it, the early days are all wine and dinner and flowers and dancing, but then comes the big pants and netflix, the cups of tea, the farting and the lack of make up, if you can get through that, that is true love. The enduring real world version of the thing.

Foreigner wanted to know what love is, well its two people who have decided to just give up and settle with each other because they find the other person somewhat less detestable than the rest of humanity, that my friends is love.

This is the second in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.

 

The Lazy Ramblings of A Lazy Guy (On Being Idle)

 

The Man Down My Local (1).pngI was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being Idle

Laziness is both a blessing and a curse, there is nothing more satisfying than spending a day lazing about on the sofa, especially when you know that there are plenty of more important things that you could be doing, and therein lies the curse. Having to put aside that bliss, can prove difficult and indeed a real hardship and can even lead to outright resentment. Or at least this is how I feel. I’ve now reached the point where I actually hate to have to do things. When people interrupt my doing nothing I really do get a little bit angry about the whole thing.

Since the advent of the internet the whole staying in thing really has taken off, with the world of online streaming services and takeaway foods that you don’t even have to speak to people to get, the world of insular laziness has actually become more and more of a easy thing to achieve.

Laziness and indeed idleness itself is a state of mind, its where you sacrifice any sort of social life just to achieve the pleasure that comes from doing nothing. It’s hard to get into the head space required to want to do nothing but watch Game of Thrones in your pants while eating cereal straight from the box.

There are some people who couldn’t be lazy if their lives depended on it. They just lack that lack of drive. They have too much motivation, too much determination to just get things done. The world would stop without those people, without them we wouldn’t have anything. But thanks to those people the rest of us, those lazy fellows can enjoy the things those great enablers have given us. Thanks to them we can vegetate until we fuse to with our sofas, until bed sores set in and until we have to wash ourselves with rags on sticks.

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The world takes a dim view of laziness, but to those who say this is say to you…meh I’ll tell you later.

 

This is the first in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.