Classic Cocktails You Should Know How To Make (Part One)

Drniking Games (4).png

The other day I wrote a piece on how to make the perfect Martini, a few people have said good things to me about it, so I thought I would use some of the knowledge that I’ve gained from years and years of experience, both behind the bar and under it, to put together a little guide on some classic cocktails that bartenders everywhere would probably hope you don’t actually order, but are always good to try and do yourself, or give a go if you are in an actual cocktail bar, order one in your local pub and there is a could chance you may get laughed at, but from the comfort of your own home, or a pool bar in the Caribbean they can prove quite the alternative, to whatever happens to be on draft.

Black Russian

black-russian

(Ingredients- 2 shots of Vodka, 1 Shot of Tia Maria, 4 shots cola, Ice) For this smooth, short cocktail, you’ll need a short tumbler, put in the ice, pour in the vodka and the tia maria then top up with the cola, stir lightly with a straw and there you have your Black Russian

Tom Collins

201640b7a2c6da92a6a88fe29d1d6086ba08

(Ingredients- 2 shots of Gin, 1 shot of lemon juice, 2 tea spoons of brown sugar, 100 ml soda water, Ice) Take your Gin, you lemon juice and bung it into a cocktail shaker, spoon in your sugar and stir, pour over the ice in a long tumbler, then fill to the top with soda water, garnish with a slice of lemon and add a straw, and that ladies and gentlemen is a Tom Collins

Sex On The Beach 

1200px-Sex_On_The_Beach

(Ingredients 2 shots of vodka, 2 shots of peach schnapps, 2 shots of orange juice, 2 shots of cranberry juice, ice) This one takes me back to my misspent youth spent in nightclubs with this sickly sweet sensation. Firstly you take the vodka and the schnapps and the orange juice, pour it into your shaker over ice, and give it your best flamenco dance, pour this whole concoction (ice and all) into a glass, and then add the cranberry juice, and now you’ve just had sex on the beach, this time without having to floss out sand.

Mojito

mojito-glass

(Ingredients, 2 shots of white rum, 1 lime, soda water, 1 sprig of mint, ice) whilst this mother jumping cocktail does involve a little bit of plant life, its actually pretty easy to make. Pour your rum over ice, add the mint sprig, and squeeze some lime juice into the glass, top it up with soda water, and then add another wedge of lime, just for good measure. It looks good, and tastes nice, and above all is pretty easy to make, and always goes down well if you make one for a young lady.

Pina Colada 

sg04 hur016

(Ingredients, 2 shots of white rum, 2 shots of coconut milk 4 shots pineapple juice, Ice,) this classic cocktail does require the use of a blender if you’re going to do it right, so firstly you bosh your ice cubes into the blender, then in a completely unceremonious manner, you pour in the rum coconut milk and the pineapple juice and turn on the blender to full power for about 60 seconds until you get a nice frothy head on it, then pour it out, make sure you scale up depending on how many people your catering for.

 

Join again tomorrow for some more classic cocktail recipes that will tantalise your taste buds and pickle what remains of your livers.  

How To Make The Perfect Martini

Manhattan (1).png

We’ve all seen James Bond, it sounds pretty cool when Sean Connery or Roger Moore, saunters over to a bar in some fancy Cannes or Monaco casino dressed up to nines in his finest dinner jacket and dickey bow and comes out with that famous line “Vodka martini, Shaken not stirred” and every man watching that screen wishes he could be that cool and sophisticated. Would you begin to question the whole foundations of manhood if I told you that every part of James Bond’s famous drink order is just plain wrong? Well question away because it is.

WRONG

Lets start with the second half of the line “shaken, not stirred”. WRONG. If you shake a martini over ice, you’re bashing the ice about in a cocktail shaker, chipping bits off willy nilly, thus watering down the alcohol content. So what 007 is actually doing is ordering a watered down drink and being a bit of a pain in the arse in doing so.

Now heading back to the first part of this atrocity. A Vodka Martini. WRONG. Martini’s aren’t meant to be made with vodka at all, they’re meant to be made with gin. Preferably English gin, although Bombay gin, or what passes as gin from the continent will suffice in a pinch, and is certainly a damn sight better than vodka.

martini

Now that I’ve outlined some of the things that make a bad martini, I’ll talk you through how to make, to my mind, the perfect martini.

What you’ll Need

  • 100ml of Gin (Brecon Botanical’s for preference)
  • 25ml of Dry White Vermouth (Martini Bianco for preference)
  • Ice
  • A cocktail shaker
  • A Coctail Spoon
  • Two green pitted olives.

How To Do It

Put your ice in the cocktail shaker then add your vermouth, I, for preference go for a full shot, but some people range from a pretty hefty double to just mixing the drink in front of picture of a bottle of vermouth, but for my method stick to a full single measure (25 ml), then add all of your gin (don’t cheap out on the gin, you want something that tastes nice, not something that tastes like paint stripper or a widow’s tears). After you’ve added your gin, stir the mixture 7 times clockwise and then once anticlockwise (I’m fairly certain this is just something that I picked up from a Harry Potter book, and does nothing to enhance the flavour). At this point you need to put your olives in your glass (a proper cocktail glass) and then strain the mixture into the glass. Now drink up.

 

30 Before Thirty (Comics & Graphic Novels)

Congratulations Mr Trump (3).png

I’m going to be thirty in just over 2 years and at this moment in time I’m OK with that (how I feel about it in 10 minuets is up for debate) but one of the things that I realised is that there are a fair few things I still want to accomplish whilst the career and social goals are somewhat out of my control things like films I want to see, albums I want to listen to and books I want to read are very much in my control, especially as I have 25 months to accomplish it. Here is a list of the Comics and Graphic Novels that I would like to have read by the time I’m thirty.

Grant Morrison’s 18 Days

25611652

Camelot 3000

61q2xJpcvhL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

Miracle Man: A Dream Of Flying

51yGXnCbYtL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_

All Star Superman 

51aj58tawbL._SX318_BO1,204,203,200_

Preacher: Gone To Texas

95431

The Crow

The_Crow_comic_book_original_cover

Sandman Preludes and Nocturnes

51GG3FKAR4L._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_

Alan Moore’s: Saga of The Swamp Thing

51WJwR8QmnL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

Marvel 1602

Marvel_1602_Vol_1_1

Saga: Volume 1

81+Sf+bNqUL

 The Order: Die Mensch Machine

download (1).jpg

The Complete Scarlet Traces 

download (2).jpg

Button Man

2902281-button_man_1

Ronin 

51cErSDhkDL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

Superman: Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow 

51ynXz0DmPL._SX336_BO1,204,203,200_

The Infinity Gauntlet 

Infinity_Gauntlet_1

Amazing Spider-man: Kravens Last Hunt

512UYljUNrL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_

Promethea Book 1 

Promethea

Jack Kirby’s Fourth World Omnibus 

511O7BCCEyL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

Multiversity 

3788807

Son Of Superman 

Son_of_Superman

Hellblazer: Original Sins 

81IQpmRpRHL

The Authority: Relentless 

download (3).jpg

Hellboy: Seed Of Destruction 

51rsvrgxK-L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

Doctor Who: Emperor Of The Daleks

download (4).jpg

Death: The High Cost Of Living  

200px-Death-_The_High_Cost_of_Living.jpg

JSA The Liberty Files 

JSA_Liberty_File_1

Alice In Sunderland 

51JbqqPdUnL._SX353_BO1,204,203,200_

Daredevil Yellow

81Nk9wThhYL

The Tragical Comedy or Comical Tragedy of Mr. Punch

Mr_Punch_cover.jpg

How many of these do you think I’ll get done before July 21st 2019?

30 Before I’m Thirty (Films)

Congratulations Mr Trump (2)

I’m going to be thirty in just over 2 years and at this moment in time I’m OK with that (how I feel about it in 10 minuets is up for debate) but one of the things that I realised is that there are a fair few things I still want to accomplish whilst the career and social goals are somewhat out of my control things like films I want to see, albums I want to listen to and books I want to read are very much in my control, especially as I have 25 months to accomplish it. Here is a list of the films that I would like to have read by the time I’m thirty.

How Green Was My Valley 

MV5BMjE1YWRmMWEtYTQ0Yy00NGEwLWFmNzAtZDkwOWNjMzkwYzJmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjc1NTYyMjg@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_

Gentleman’s Agreement

Gentleman's_Agreement_(1947_movie_poster)

From Here to Eternity

From_Here_to_Eternity_film_poster

Gone With The Wind

Gone_With_The_Wind_1967_re-release

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Cat_roof

West Side Story

West_Side_Story_poster

Lawrence of Arabia

220px-Lawrence_of_arabia_ver3_xxlg

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf

5183CT06SGL._SY445_

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

guess-whos-coming-to-dinner-movie-poster-1967-1010267936

Funny Girl

large_4b5ZtYmVtwz5R0UDavj3rvQJrBj

Fiddler On The Roof

fiddler_on_the_roof

All The Presidents Men

MPW-60749

Milk

milk-movie-poster

Kramer Vs Kramer

220px-Oscar_posters_79

Terms of Endearment 

MV5BMTk0ODM4NDk0MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMTEzMDUxMDE@._V1_UY1200_CR90,0,630,1200_AL_

The Cider House Rules

cider_house_rules_xlg

An Education

education_xlg

The Wolf Of Wall Street

wolf_of_wall_street_ver3_xlg

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

download.jpg

Moonrise Kingdom

moonrise-kingdom-movie-poster-2012-1020750674

Saving Private Ryan

MV5BZjhkMDM4MWItZTVjOC00ZDRhLThmYTAtM2I5NzBmNmNlMzI1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDYyMDk5MTU@._V1_UY1200_CR93,0,630,1200_AL_

Going In Style 

going_in_style

Wall Street

MPW-76145

King Ralph

king_ralph_xlg

Planes Trains and Automobiles

A70-12393

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

51Z2g-KN03L

The Monuments Men

Monuments-Men-poster-2

Good Will Hunting

Good_Will_Hunting_theatrical_poster

Good Morning Vietnam 

large_7gxvvzBj5dAIiTbGItX3V48YPMb

This Is Spinal Tap

5f688539c8ca40399076d1b7b1d869e5

How many of these do you think I’ll get done before July 21st 2019?

The Lazy Ramblings Of A Lazy Guy (On Being In Love)

The Man Down My Local (2).png

I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being In Love 

Have you ever seen someone and known that they would be a terrible distraction to your life. That was how I would describe it, that feeling of knowing that this person is going to really change your life. That knowledge that this is going to be massively inconvenient.

That’s how it all begins then you slip into it, the early days are all wine and dinner and flowers and dancing, but then comes the big pants and netflix, the cups of tea, the farting and the lack of make up, if you can get through that, that is true love. The enduring real world version of the thing.

Foreigner wanted to know what love is, well its two people who have decided to just give up and settle with each other because they find the other person somewhat less detestable than the rest of humanity, that my friends is love.

This is the second in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.

 

The Lazy Ramblings of A Lazy Guy (On Being Idle)

 

The Man Down My Local (1).pngI was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being Idle

Laziness is both a blessing and a curse, there is nothing more satisfying than spending a day lazing about on the sofa, especially when you know that there are plenty of more important things that you could be doing, and therein lies the curse. Having to put aside that bliss, can prove difficult and indeed a real hardship and can even lead to outright resentment. Or at least this is how I feel. I’ve now reached the point where I actually hate to have to do things. When people interrupt my doing nothing I really do get a little bit angry about the whole thing.

Since the advent of the internet the whole staying in thing really has taken off, with the world of online streaming services and takeaway foods that you don’t even have to speak to people to get, the world of insular laziness has actually become more and more of a easy thing to achieve.

Laziness and indeed idleness itself is a state of mind, its where you sacrifice any sort of social life just to achieve the pleasure that comes from doing nothing. It’s hard to get into the head space required to want to do nothing but watch Game of Thrones in your pants while eating cereal straight from the box.

There are some people who couldn’t be lazy if their lives depended on it. They just lack that lack of drive. They have too much motivation, too much determination to just get things done. The world would stop without those people, without them we wouldn’t have anything. But thanks to those people the rest of us, those lazy fellows can enjoy the things those great enablers have given us. Thanks to them we can vegetate until we fuse to with our sofas, until bed sores set in and until we have to wash ourselves with rags on sticks.

6cd24fc01d4a91665df7b9b6429418a3664d9158b6b24f562b09d22d05356bf2.jpg

The world takes a dim view of laziness, but to those who say this is say to you…meh I’ll tell you later.

 

This is the first in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man. 

Booze Review: Hooper’s Dandelion & Burdock Brew

One of the key things I wanted to do with this blog was review lots of cool and nerdy stuff, indulge in my own ramblings and make it seem as if I knew what I was talking about when it came to politics and current affairs.

But today I’ve hit a bit of writers block, I didn’t have a think to write about. No new comic’s to review, nothing to cover politically, no top 10 lists to go through and since its half term I can’t really say that I’ve done anything very exciting.

That is until I took a walk over to Morrison’s to grab my Euromillion’s ticket (more to come if I actually win) and I took a stroll down the booze aisle, and I spied a bottle of Hooper’s Dandelion and Burdock Brew (an alcoholic dandelion and burdock) I was intrigued. I purchased a bottle and I drank It. Immediately I was transported back to my youth, reliving the taste of cheap Tesco’s own dandelion and burdock. It clocks in at 4% and doesn’t taste alcoholic at all, so I’d imagine that after 5 or 6 it would really creep up on you.

hooper-s-dandelion-_-burdock-brew-12x-500ml_temp

It was nice, sweet and probably something I would have again, just as something different from time to time.