The Best European Superheroes

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I’ve been reading some troubling Brexit related news stories lately, and whilst it may be in vein, I am still committed to the Ideals of a united Europe. The EU has done so much for all the people who live in Britain, a minimum wage, maternity leave, so pretty good health and safety laws, and yes even some pretty good superheroes. So here is a look at some of the finest heroes from the European Union.

 

Banshee

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The emerald Isle’s very own Sean Cassidy, one of the second generation of X-men gifted with his very own sonic scream. Banshee died trying to prevent a plane crash before being resurrected in service to the twins of Apocalypse.

Crimson Fox

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IVivian and Constance D’Aramis shared the role of Crimson Fox to allow each something of a normal life, Crimson Fox originally appeared as part of Justice League Europe serving as a long time member until the death of both sisters.

Captain Britain

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Brian Braddock was a physicist working at the Darkmoor Nuclear Research Centre when the facility is attacked by the The Reaver Brian tries to find help by escaping on his motorbike. Although he crashes his bike in a nearly fatal accident, Merlyn and his daughter Roma appear and they give him the chance to be the superhero Captain Britain. He is offered a choice: the Amulet of Right or the Sword of Might. Considering himself to be no warrior, he rejects the Sword and chooses the Amulet. This choice transforms him into Captain Britain, the defender of the realm, Captain Britain has had a long career serving as founding member of the superhero team Excalibur, and serving with the Knights of Pendragon, The Avengers, the counter intelligence group MI13 and even as the leader of the ill fated Captain Britain Corps.

Empath

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Empath is a Spanish mutant appearing in Marvels X-Men titles coming from the town of Castille, Empath is recruited into the Hellions and then serves along with the X-Men until he betrayed them.

Wild Huntsman

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The reincarnated spirit of a Germanic Warrior, aided in his crusade for justice by his trusted hound, Donnerschlag, and his horse Orkan. He served as a member of the Global Guardians

Lifting The Veil On Politics: Wales

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This is the first of a series of posts trying to de-mystify politics for everyday people.

Wales is one of the countries that makes up the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, it is bordered to the east by England, the south by the Bristol Chanel and north and west by the Irish Sea. It has a population of just over three million people, English is the main language, although Welsh is commonly used (if not spoken), the currency is pound sterling and the capital city is Cardiff.

When it comes to the governance of Wales there are 5 levels of government (four after brexit finally transpires and Britain leaves the European Union) and they are:

  1. Community: The over 800 Town, Parish and Community Councils throughout Wales.
  2. Local:  Unitary authorities comprising of County, City and Borough Councils (Of which there are 22) [another blog about this will be forthcoming].
  3. Regional: The National Assembly for Wales is the directly elected parliament for Wales with 60 directly elected assembly members with responsibility for, healthcare, education, transport, business, tourism and agriculture and various devolved monetary policies.
  4. National: The UK government in Westminster which influences Wales by controlling aspects of foreign policy, defence policy and some aspects of tax policy. [another blog about this will be forthcoming]
  5. European: Governs 28 nations including the UK, with directly elected members of the European Parliament, European Commissioners and Councillors appointed by each of the member states.  Handles regulatory matters and Human Rights. [find more here]

Wales finally got its own government as a result of a referendum held in 1997. 60 Assembly members were elected to the first term of the National Assembly For Wales in 1999, 40 members elected from first past the post style constituency elections and 20 members elected from five proportionally represented regions.

As of 2011 the Welsh Government is responsible for making policy and laws for the following areas:

  • Agriculture, fisheries, forestry and rural development
  • Ancient monuments and historical buildings
  • Culture
  • Economic development
  • Education and training
  • Environment
  • Fire and rescue services and promotion of fire safety
  • Food
  • Health and health services
  • Highways and transport
  • Housing
  • Local government
  • National Assembly for Wales
  • Public administration
  • Social welfare
  • Sport and recreation
  • Tourism
  • Town and country planning
  • Water and flood defences
  • Welsh language

The way laws are made in the Welsh Assembly is as follows:

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Source: National Assemble For Wales

Hopefully that helps to shed a little light on how the governance of Wales works (or works in theory).

 

The Lazy Ramblings Of A Lazy Guy (On Being In Love)

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I was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being In Love 

Have you ever seen someone and known that they would be a terrible distraction to your life. That was how I would describe it, that feeling of knowing that this person is going to really change your life. That knowledge that this is going to be massively inconvenient.

That’s how it all begins then you slip into it, the early days are all wine and dinner and flowers and dancing, but then comes the big pants and netflix, the cups of tea, the farting and the lack of make up, if you can get through that, that is true love. The enduring real world version of the thing.

Foreigner wanted to know what love is, well its two people who have decided to just give up and settle with each other because they find the other person somewhat less detestable than the rest of humanity, that my friends is love.

This is the second in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man.

 

The Lazy Ramblings of A Lazy Guy (On Being Idle)

 

The Man Down My Local (1).pngI was recently introduced to the Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow by Jerome K Jerome. The book consists of 14 essays on 14 topics

  1. ON BEING IDLE.
  2. ON BEING IN LOVE.
  3. ON BEING IN THE BLUES.
  4. ON BEING HARD UP.
  5. ON VANITY AND VANITIES.
  6. ON GETTING ON IN THE WORLD.
  7. ON THE WEATHER.
  8. ON CATS AND DOGS.
  9. ON BEING SHY.
  10. ON BABIES.
  11. ON EATING AND DRINKING.
  12. ON FURNISHED APARTMENTS.
  13. ON DRESS AND DEPORTMENT.
  14. ON MEMORY.

Jerome K Jerome is pretty much me down to a tee. He’s lazy and just writes whatever comes to mind. He doesn’t care who he offends, and I often felt that he may have been somewhat high when he picked up the pen. But Mr Jerome has inspired me, so I am going to be writing a series of posts on the topics that Mr Jerome turned his hand at. (I know I’m ripping the guy off, but quite frankly I don’t care)

On Being Idle

Laziness is both a blessing and a curse, there is nothing more satisfying than spending a day lazing about on the sofa, especially when you know that there are plenty of more important things that you could be doing, and therein lies the curse. Having to put aside that bliss, can prove difficult and indeed a real hardship and can even lead to outright resentment. Or at least this is how I feel. I’ve now reached the point where I actually hate to have to do things. When people interrupt my doing nothing I really do get a little bit angry about the whole thing.

Since the advent of the internet the whole staying in thing really has taken off, with the world of online streaming services and takeaway foods that you don’t even have to speak to people to get, the world of insular laziness has actually become more and more of a easy thing to achieve.

Laziness and indeed idleness itself is a state of mind, its where you sacrifice any sort of social life just to achieve the pleasure that comes from doing nothing. It’s hard to get into the head space required to want to do nothing but watch Game of Thrones in your pants while eating cereal straight from the box.

There are some people who couldn’t be lazy if their lives depended on it. They just lack that lack of drive. They have too much motivation, too much determination to just get things done. The world would stop without those people, without them we wouldn’t have anything. But thanks to those people the rest of us, those lazy fellows can enjoy the things those great enablers have given us. Thanks to them we can vegetate until we fuse to with our sofas, until bed sores set in and until we have to wash ourselves with rags on sticks.

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The world takes a dim view of laziness, but to those who say this is say to you…meh I’ll tell you later.

 

This is the first in series of posts ripping off the work of Mr Jerome K Jerome and his seminal piece The Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Man. 

Review: Five On Brexit Island

Hands up all of you who have at some point in your life read one Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series. The Enid Blyton books have entertained countless children with the antics of Julian, Dick, Anne and George, not to mention Timmy the dog. The stories invariably take place during the summer holidays when all the children have returned from boarding school to spend the summer hols with George’s parents on the south Dorset Coast.

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Five on Brexit Island is part of a new range of books called Enid Blyton for grown ups. Other titles in the series include: Five Go Gluten Free, Five Give Up The Booze and Five Go On A Strategy Away Day.

The plot of Five On Brexit Island focuses on ,the now grown up five’s , attempts to get away from fervour of the Brexit referendum result by taking a camping trip to Kirrin Island. However upon learning the result of the referendum George, the legal owner of Kirrin Island, decides to hold her own referendum on weather to stay as part of the United Kingdom, or become its own sovereign state.

The book really does highlight the absurdity of the Brexit campaign, from the boldly fictional claims of the ardent outers, to the ridiculous scaremongering of the in crowd, even down to the pointless resignations, the vile way in which the press egged the situation on and the way that in the end the majority of the electorate, just didn’t give a crap.

The book itself is written in a very similar style Enid Blyton’s original work, although thankfully it does leave out the massively outdated racism, and it does show what happens when the children from children’s stories go on and grow up. I would recommend wholeheartedly as a gift and may indulge further into Mr Bruno Vincent’s take on the Famous Five. This work is defiantly something to put in the stocking of any politically minded millennial or any brexit loving baby boomer and should be read by as many people as possible.

Dr Brexit (Or How I Learnt To Stop Worrying & Love The Abomination)

So that happened. The people of the United Kingdom (but not Northern Ireland) voted to leave the EU. After months of muck slinging and misinformation Britain narrowly voted to leave the European Union. This left Prime Minister David Cameron to be the first politician to keep a promise as he resigned his premiership , thus triggering a short leadership contest best described as mother doesn’t know best.

As well as this the Labour Party seems to be determined to simultaneously implode and rip itself apart, with the majority of  party MP’s wanting to remove “leader” Jeremy Corbyn from power and Mr Corbyn refusing to leave office triggering a party wide leadership election based on the Vladimir Putin electoral system.

Add into this 6000 extra reported hate crimes that have been logged since the Brexit vote was cast, the fluctuation of the markets that look like a cutaway diagram of Wales, and several declarations of  war on the baby boom generation,  this whole thing is beginning to sound like some sort of satirical farce, one can almost hear Malcolm Tucker exclaiming CHRIST ON A BENDY BUS whilst R.E.M plays in the background.

This is why after a month of anger, bitterness and depression I’ve decided to see the funny side of Brexit. So here are some of the funniest/ stupidest things I’ve seen regarding Brexit after polling day:

  • Google reports the most popular (non porn) search the day of the Brexit results was “What is the EU?
  • After being urged to vote leave by J.D Wetherspoon’s founder Tim Martin the firm lost £18,Million in value thanks to the post brexit slump.
  • An odious man of my acquaintance (whom I will not name for legal reasons) who campaigned strongly for brexit has now found himself fired from a leading academic establishment (which I will not name for said same legal reasons) because his position was paid for by a European Grant.
  • Proposals are now being drawn up by various special interest groups to cease the subsidising of public transport for the over 60’s in Wales in order to make up the shortfall of European Money coming into Wales (almost 80% of over 60’s in Wales voted to leave the EU)

Do you have any examples of poetic justice stemming from the post brexit fallout currently engulfing the UK?

(A) Tax on Femininity

Women really do have it so much worse off than men. They go through nine months of hell just to keep the species alive and for every month that they don’t they are rewarded with a weeks worth of blood soaked agony and hormonal imbalance. And to add insult to injury when they try to do something to sanitise this geyser of haemoglobin that comes monthly they are taxed for the privilege.

Dubbed the tampon tax (although applying to all feminine hygiene products) this is a reduced rate of value added tax (VAT) set at 5% which is set by the European Union (not the UK government). Now after doing a quick sweep of the local supermarket (and being a bloke I may be wrong) but the average price for a tampon or sanitary pad is between £1-£3 depending on brand and the particular function.

Now assuming all women show a sense of frugality and get through 1 pack a month that brings in a total of £0.05 per woman per month in taxation. Or put into real terms the government brings in approximately £20 million in a fiscal year. £20 million is a lot of money and in callous terms I can see why any government would drag its heels when it comes to losing that amount of revenue, but this isn’t about the money its about the principal of the thing. Why should a whole gender be taxed for the process that keeps the whole human race alive?

I as a cynic can’t help but think that if it were men who were the recipients of mother natures monthly gift not only would sanitary products not be taxed but they would be free on the national health service and period pain would be seen as a genuine excuse to miss work, and I can guarantee that the lads down my local would be comparing flow as a badge of honour and swapping embarrassing stories “my flow was so heavy last night I thought I was gonna pass out from loss of blood” or something like “I was dancing with this fit bird in a club in my cream chinos and it started, completely ruined my calvin’s…top banter“. Not that I’m asking to receive a period any time soon.

now being completely honest I’m not a feminist (not a misogynist either for that matter) but even I think this is a pretty sexist way to raise money. If you feel like doing something about this why not sign this petition. And call on the European Union to stop trying to snatch money for an essential product.